Premarital
Provided by a member of the clergy trained in counseling, a therapist, or some other appropriately qualified person, premarital counseling may address such matters as the timing of marriage, spousal rights and responsibilities, birth-control methods, and sexual intimacy and may use assessment instruments to identify and thereby address potential conflicts in the marriage.
Premarital counseling offers an opportunity to discuss several important aspects of a marriage, including:
If you are engaged or thinking about engagement, please contact us, our therapists are here to help you feel connected and prepared!
Finances: Money can be a stressful and contentious issue for married couples, so deciding how to manage your finances in advance can help prevent problems down the road.
Beliefs, values, and religion: Sharing your beliefs, values, and religious sentiments with your partner can help foster better understanding and respect. You can also discuss the implications of these aspects on your daily life.
Family relationships: Premarital counseling can offer you a chance to be honest about your relationships with your own family as well as any concerns you have about your partner’s family.
Roles in the marriage: It’s important to discuss the roles you expect yourself and your partner to play in your marriage to prevent conflicts later on.
Activities and time spent together: You and your partner can discuss how you plan to spend time together and what activities you enjoy doing together.
Children: Couples sometimes realize after getting married that they are not on the same page about whether or not they want to have children. Deciding in advance whether or not you want to have kids and how you want to raise them is important.
Premarital counseling aims to help the couple examine unresolved issues, clarify personal values, and address relationship expectations to increase their chances of having a successful marriage. Couples are also encouraged to improve their communication and capitalize on their relationship strengths to boost relationship satisfaction. Some churches require a couple to undergo premarital counseling before the wedding.
Types of Premarital Counseling
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Gottman Method
The Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, involves conducting a detailed assessment of you and your partner and then using a therapeutic framework to address areas of conflict.
This form of therapy aims to improve the quality of friendship between you and your partner, increase intimacy, and equip you with problem-solving skills that can help you build a stronger relationship.
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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotionally focused therapy, developed by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg, is a form of short-term therapy. It aims to improve the attachment and bond between you and your partner, leading to better communication and a stronger relationship.
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Psychodynamic Couples Therapy
Psychodynamic couples therapy examines the underlying issues that motivate interaction cycles. Identifying and addressing factors like your hopes for closeness, love, and appreciation and fears of abandonment and disapproval can help you and your partner better understand and accept each other.
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SYMBIS
“Saving your Marriage Before it Starts”
SYMBIS is an online tool that allows engaged or newly married couples (or even couples who have been married for a while!) to log on individually and take an assessment. The assessment has many questions about personality, upbringing, attitudes towards money, sex, and much, much more.
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Prepare & Enrich
Prepare-Enrich is a customized couple assessment completed online that identifies a couple’s strength and growth areas. It is one of the most widely used programs for premarital counseling and premarital education. It is also used for marriage counseling, marriage enrichment, and dating couples considering engagement. Based on a couple’s assessment results, a trained facilitator provides 4-8 feedback sessions in which the facilitator helps the couple discuss and understand their results as they are taught proven relationship skills.
Therapists Focused on Premarital Counseling
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