Ring in the Rituals

Jan 1

Written by: Barbara Jandu, M.A., AMFT 120259

January 1, 2024

For over a decade, I’ve engaged in an annual ritual of finding one word to ring in the New Year rather than setting resolutions I’m unlikely to keep. In recent years, researchers have noted mental health benefits from engaging in meaningful rituals.

Communal Ceremonies

Author Casper ter Kuile writes, “Rituals help us make the invisible visible”. For sad events such as a death, the shared rituals of mourning externalize the emotions of grief. For happy events such as a birthday, blowing out candles at a party externalize the feelings of celebration and joy.

Honing Habits

What makes a habit different from a ritual, according to UC Berkeley professor Juliana Schroeder, is intentionality and symbolic meaning. Rituals act as a notification to the brain that what you are doing matters in that moment. If you focus your attention, you can elevate even ordinary habits into something meaningful.

Liturgy & Lemonade

Some of us make it a weekly practice to engage in worship services. Others find solace in a weekly visit to a favorite café. Researchers Norton and his colleagues found that even something as ordinary as making lemonade in a specific way resulted in participants experiencing more positive perceptions of the end result – it was literally sweeter to them. This same mindful attention could be applied to anything from how you make your morning coffee to enjoying the details of afternoon tea. Stop – smell – stir – serve.

Relational Rituals

Some couples enjoy a monthly date night or daily walk after dinner. Others greet each other in a specific way at the end of each day. Researchers at the Gottman Institute refer to these as Rituals of Connection that help keep a couple’s relationship strong. Norton and his team agree. In 2019, they found that couples who engaged in activities like these had better satisfaction than those who don’t. As these rituals become embedded in your journey together, they become a part of your shared story.

Monumental or Momentary

Yes, there is something transformative about how a graduate turns the tassel from right to left, or how a patient ending chemo rings a bell. But rituals don’t have to be enormous to be significant. For example, if you make a salad every night, you can pause to give thanks for the farmers who grew the vegetables and enjoy the rhythm of chopping them. What matters is finding a practice that is personally meaningful to you.

Practice with Purpose

Positive psychology coach Jan Stanley recommends considering intention, action, and meaning. The following may give you some ideas to get started.

Whether you work in an office or from home, end each work day by closing your laptop, taking a big stretch, then going for a nice walk.

If you have small children at home, you might choose to read a book, sing a lullaby, and tuck them into bed each night.
For those in long-term relationships, consider purchasing a jar and some pretty stones or beads. Each time you catch your partner doing something that makes you feel loved, drop a stone or bead into the jar.
And everyone deserves to take one day off each week: no work, no cooking, no

cleaning.

However you choose to greet this new year, doing so with intention and purpose may bring you more peace and joy than ever before.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” ~I Corinthians 10:31

Photo credit: Peter Bucks on Unsplash