What’s Your Word?
Written by: Barbara Jandu, M.A., AMFT 120259
January 1, 2023
Research on Resolutions
According to U.S. News & World Report, approximately 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February. Furthermore, researcher John C. Norcross of University of Scranton found that only 8% of resolutions are kept through the entire year.
Why We Do It
Positive psychology researcher Shawn Achor found that the process of choosing a resolution floods the body with dopamine, a natural ‘feel-good’ neurotransmitter. This also occurs whenever we are feeling appreciative or hopeful, helping to trigger the learning centers in our brains to become more engaged and creative.
I believe this process applies whether we are choosing a traditional New Year’s Resolution or a Word-of-the-Year. However, if you choose the resolution pathway, Achor indicates it will take the typical 21 days to rewire your brain for a different habit, and that it’s a good idea to reward yourself each day that you meet your goal, so you train your brain to want to continue. If you get off track, self-compassion is key.
Why Resolutions Fail
Sunstein and Thaler’s New Year’s Resolution Test revealed that individuals tend to face conflicts between immediate rewards and long-term goals. What we label as failure or lack of self-control is merely choosing the immediate rather than the long-term. Life is much more nuanced than this, though. Sometimes we value spontaneity and other times we value self-control. Both are important.
A Different Decision
About a decade ago, I replaced the annual tradition of writing New Year’s Resolutions - (that I usually broke by the end of January) with a single word to bear in mind throughout the year.
Over the course of this decade, my words have included: Balance, Gratitude, Hope, Focus, Shine, Joy, Peace, Rejuvenate, and Light. For 2023, I am contemplating the words pause or rest. Others I know choose a phrase such as: ‘Know your why’, ‘Find what matters’, or ‘Appreciate the small things’.
I have found that keeping a single word or phrase in mind to be a much gentler way to keep myself on track with what I value. Coach and podcaster Elizabeth Dhokia agrees that selecting a Word-of-the-Year is a ‘kinder way to grow’, a ‘softer way to develop’ then the typical pass-or-fail mentality that comes along with a set of New Year’s Resolutions.
Give It a Try
Start with a list of about 50 to 100 inspiration words. Then narrow that down to your Top 10. From there, choose three. Then sit on it and contemplate for a while. Some choose to pray over those three words or meditate on them one-by-one. Websites such as My One Word or DaySpring can help you decide which word might be most meaningful for you. Most importantly, remember that there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’
answer. Give yourself some space to try something new. Throughout the year, you can gather memes, inspirational quotes, and even try journaling. You can share your insights with trusted family and friends. Experiment with it and have fun!
“But above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you do not fall under judgment”. ~James 5:12
Photo credit: Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash
